Musings on Gratitude

***Please note that these musings are not intended to be a lecture or sermon. They're definitely not intended as a sign of how "good" I am or as evidence that I've got the craziness of life figured out in the least but are often for my own self as I ponder the person I hope to be. I just hope that maybe by sharing them they might help someone else along the way.***

“Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

Life has always had a lot of ups and downs. We all have them. It’s just part of being human. Sometimes we may look around at all the platitudes of perfection that are on social media or the covers of our favorite magazines and wonder why it seems like we’ve unfairly received more than our fair share of the downs though. After all, why can’t we have a fairy godmother come and make everything work out? Wouldn’t that just be so much nicer? I know I’ve spent more than my share of hours wishing for just such a thing.

The thing about wishing for what we don’t have though is that it doesn’t allow us to think of just how blessed we are. One of the memes I saw recently that really struck home said something to the effect of while we’re busy wishing for all the things we wish we had someone else is wishing for the things we have already been blessed with. Definitely something to think about when we start whining about things that really won’t make a difference 5 days from now or even 5 years.

We may never know why things work out the way they do but dwelling on the what might have beens or the way we wish things were only brings us down. If instead we think about the things that we do have to be grateful for we realize that each of us has been given so many amazing gifts that we can’t even really begin to start counting them.

This lesson really hit home for me when someone was discussing how gratitude affects our prayers. They suggested considering how long we usually pray for and then taking that amount of time and trying to write out as many of our blessings as we could think of. When the time was up review the list and then ponder what life would be like if you woke up the next morning with only the things on your list.

I’m definitely not perfect at it, even though I tend to think of myself as a fairly positive person I’ve realized lately just how often I let the bad take control over the good and start in on the whining and complaining and dreamily wishing. Now don’t get me wrong, wishing is fine but we’ve got to be willing to put some action behind it and make it happen. When we start going down those empty negative roads we just end up feeling even more negative and it snowballs on itself but when we stop and intentionally turn ourselves towards gratitude it’s like a whole new world of joy opens up before us.

Like I said, I know we all go through things though and sometimes it really is just ridiculous little stuff but sometimes it’s hard - really hard. As I gain more perspective on life I realize that even in those darkest of moments when I’ve felt like there’s nothing but me and the storm there have been blessings and lots of them– blessings of strength, comfort, friendship, care, and so much more.  I can realize looking back that I really wasn’t as alone as I felt and I know that I wouldn’t change any of those moments because they have taught me so much and helped me become the person I am. If that’s true than when moments of wind and hail come I probably need to focus on the lessons I’m learning and the growth I’m achieving if I want to keep moving forward in the future and trust and have faith that things will continue to work out as I do so. 

I’m so thankful for this time of year when we can all take a little time to ponder our gratitude and allow it to help shape us instead of allowing pride and jealousy destroy the beauty all around us. My wish is that it will help us all find a little more joy and a little more love and realize amidst all the false enticements and notions of "reality" the things that matter most.

Family Forever

Once upon a time I was a stupid teenager. I had some things happen that I let damage my self-esteem pretty bad and ended up with a crowd of friends who although not ill-intentioned, simply did not have my same standards. Although I never committed any "serious" sins there was a short time when I was not worthy to enter the temple.

That may seem a bit strange or harsh to people not of our faith but we believe that the temples are the most sacred and holy places on earth - we believe that they are the House of God and the scriptures say "that all men, everywhere, must repent, or they can in nowise inherit the kingdom of God, for no unclean thing can dwell there, or dwell in his presence" (Moses 6:57). If we want to be in God's House, if we hope to dwell in His Presence we must be clean and worthy.

So there I was, unable to enter the House of the Lord. All my life I grew up knowing how special temples were and it was devastating to me not to be able worthy to participate in those sacred experiences. My top priority became repentance and taking hold of the blessings of the Atonement so that I could return. I remember a special blend of feeling joyful and humble when I was able at last to enter in again that I now feel each time I enter. 

It was soon after this time that I found my favorite Primary song - I had always loved music and especially the church songs but this one took on special meaning to me.

I have a family here on earth.

They are so good to me.

I want to share my life with them through all eternity.

 Families can be together forever

Through Heavenly Father's plan.

I always want to be with my own family,

And the Lord has shown me how I can.

The Lord has shown me how I can.

 While I am in my early years,

I'll prepare most carefully,

So I can marry in God's temple for eternity.

 Families can be together forever

Through Heavenly Father's plan.

I always want to be with my own family,

And the Lord has shown me how I can.

The Lord has shown me how I can.

 

If there was a blessing in all that I went through, it was that I appreciated temples and eternal families like I had never done before. I knew with certainty that I could never settle for anything that wasn't forever. I wanted my family to be eternal and that I would have to continue to make sure that I was worthy and focused if that was going to happen.

Fast forward a bit and I knelt across the alter from my very best friend and made sacred promises with him and the Lord that no matter what came our way we would stay focused on eternity together. When I look at my husband, my children, when I think of my parents, grandparents, and great-grandparents - I feel an indescribable joy and overwhelming gratitude for how very blessed I am. I am so grateful that the priesthood was restored and that temples are once again on the earth and that we can be sealed together as a family forever.

 

In our ward during April we focused a lot on temples and families. We made a ward goal for everyone to try and get their families to go to the temple together - at least to walk around the grounds and feel the Spirit there. We were able to go as a family to both Boston and Montreal and see the temples there. 

 

No my kids weren't the most reverent while we there, yes it was a difficult thing to get everyone together and do the long drive. Would I do it again? Of course! Even though it was challenging and I imagine it will remain so no matter what the future brings, having our family together at the temple, teaching our children that they are part of our family forever, showing them how much we love them and God loves them are some of the most treasured moments of my life. 

 

I hope that by helping them focus on the things of eternity so they will be able to remember who they are and where they are going and know without a doubt that they are children of a Heavenly Father who loves them, and wants to keep the commandments and be clean not only so that they can be happy in this life but so He can bring them home to live with Him again to live in his eternal joy with all our loved ones together forever. 

my greatest blessings

30 Days of Grateful Living - Day 14

Today I wanted to share a little of my gratitude for art. Have you ever noticed that all little children are artists? They love to draw and create beautiful things. Sadly this can become stifled as they get a little older and realize that their pictures don't quite match up with what they were trying to draw or the great masterpieces hanging in galleries. I believe though that the craving to create beauty never really goes away. Viewing and creating beautiful art speaks to our souls. We look at the Mona Lisa and as we view her beauty we also have hundreds of questions fill our minds. Who was she? What was she thinking? Why did DaVinci paint her? What was he thinking as he made each little brush stroke or mixing his paints? Good art leaves us with thoughts that enlarge and expand our mind and appreciate just how much beauty there is all around us. An idea from A Beautiful Mind has always stuck with me that God must have been a painter because he have us so many colors. The world to me is a beautiful work of art.

Today's challenge:
1. Continue to write down how you are grateful for your family and God (it's been a few days so try not to repeat anything!)
2. Think about what art has spoken to your soul and think about what it was about it that moved you.
3. Think about the last time that you created a work of art, record your gratitude for the talent that allowed you to create something even if it wasn't perfect.
4. Find a way to act on your gratitude and think about how it makes you feel.

30 Days of Grateful Living - Day 13

Today I wanted to talk about another of my favorite things that I am grateful for - books! As far back as I can remember I have loved books. Books make me laugh, they make me cry, they help me de-stress, they teach me things and open my mind and fill it up with all sorts of amazing knowledge and imaginations. I think a lot of who I am is thanks to what I've felt and learned through reading good books. There's just something magical about opening a book - new or old and just holding it.

Today's challenge:
1. Continue to write down how you are grateful for your family and God (it's been a few days so try not to repeat anything!)
2. Take 15 minutes to get lost in a book.
3. Write down a list of at least the top 10 books that you've been thankful for in your life and if you want a bonus include why you're thankful for them. 
4. Find a way to act on your gratitude and think about how it makes you feel.

30 Days of Grateful Living - Day 12

someone cue the crickets chirping....

Maybe it hasn't been that bad but I did kind of halt mid go over the weekend with the 30 day challenge.What can I say, it was a busy weekend with lots of family stuff and I hadn't thought ahead to prep so I'll just have to say that in addition to everything else I'm grateful for pauses that sometimes just have to happen.

Today I wanted to focus on how thankful I am for music. Some of my earliest memories are of seeing my grandmother and great-grandmother singing, directing, and playing instruments with their band of pink ladies from the hospital they volunteered at. A little bit older and I remember an elementary school music teacher who changed lives through her yearly full school musical production. About the same time as that I remember lots of nights and competitions where I would go with my mom to hear her sing with the Sweet Adaline choir. In middle school it seemed almost automatic that I joined the band and chorus and continued on through high school.

So anyways, yes, I love music. I don't think I had ever really thought about why though until I became a mom and actually probably only since Bear was born. I finally realized that music really speaks to us sometimes in a way that words just can't. Putting on some music can change the whole tone of our home within a matter of seconds. If you think I'm exaggerating just try it. I promise that it works and not just on the kids but on us too. There is power in good music and I am so thankful for it I couldn't even begin to start.

Today's challenge:
1. Continue to write down how you are grateful for your family and God (it's been a few days so try not to repeat anything!)
2. Try putting on some music and paying attention to how it makes you feel.
3. Write down your feelings of gratitude for how music has blessed your life.
4. Find a way to act on your gratitude and think about how it makes you feel.

30 Days of Grateful Living - Day 11

Today I wanted to remember to be grateful for memories. Memories are our way of looking back at life and seeing how blessed we have been. Especially when you become a parent and start looking back at your childhood as it compares to what your children are going through there is something magical in a memory. I love getting out the old pictures from when the kids were little or when I was little and remembering what was happening and going on in our lives. It makes me even that much more thankful for where I am now.

Today's challenge:
1. Continue to write down how you are grateful for your family and God (it's been a few days so try not to repeat anything!)
2. Take some time to just remember today - look through pictures or scrapbooks or get out a family movie.
3. Write down your feelings of gratitude now as you look back on your past.
4. Find a way to act on your gratitude and think about how it makes you feel.

30 Days of Grateful Living- Day 10

For today's challenge I wanted to think a bit about technology and what a blessing it is. From turning on a light switch to going for a drive or being able to read this on the Internet is a huge blessing. Most of us will remember that it wasn't too long ago when just having a computer in your home was a huge deal. Now even my two year old knows how to take pictures with an I-Pad. I love being able to find information and inspiration on the internet but I'm also most grateful for being able to stay in touch with our family that are scattered across the US and Canada.

Today's challenge:
1. Continue to write down how you are grateful for your family and God (it's been a few days so try not to repeat anything!)
2. As you go through your day try to be more aware of all the times you use technology.
3. Write down a blessing that has come from technology.
4. Find a way to act on your gratitude and think about how it makes you feel.

30 Days of Grateful Living - Day 9

For today's challenge I wanted to think about how grateful I am for the things I've learned. Learning can come in so many ways and it is so important to our happiness. I just can't even begin to describe how thankful I am for the things that I've learned and realizing that I can still learn new things every day. I love looking back at my journals and seeing how much I've changed over time through the things that I've learned.

Today's challenge:
1. Continue to write down how you are grateful for your family and God (it's been a few days so try not to repeat anything!)
2. Make an effort to learn something new today. It doesn't have to be big - just something recognizable as new.
3. Write down a blessing that has come from being willing to learn something new.
4. Find a way to act on your gratitude and think about how it makes you feel.

30 Days of Grateful Living - Day 8

It's Day 8 of our challenge! Today I wanted to share some gratitude for the things that make us different. Sometimes we can get stuck in a rut trying to be like someone else - if only I was ... like them,  or if only I had ... like them. I caught myself doing this one day and realized suddenly how silly I was being. Who decided what they had was better than what I had? God could care less about or physical attributes, or temporal belongings and wealth. I don't even think He cares that much about how smart or talented we are. The only thing that matters to Him is how we're using whatever gifts He has blessed us with to follow Him and improve ourselves through His goodness. So instead of worrying about what makes us different let's celebrate the unique blessings that make up who we are!

Today's challenge:
1. continue to write down how you are grateful for your family and God (it's been a few days so try not to repeat anything!)
2. if you start to compare yourself to others silence those thoughts and remember "I am who God made me to  be and as long as I have faith to follow Him I have everything I need."
3. write down a specific way that you've been blessed by your differences.
4. find a way to act on your gratitude and think about how it makes you feel.

30 Days of Grateful Living - Day 7

Wowee! I can't believe it's been a week already. So far the changes I've seen in myself have been small but thinking more actively about things I'm grateful for has definitely been helping me see things in a different way that keeps me happier and calmer.

Today's challenge is to be thankful for the good people around you that step in and help out. It can be extended family, friends, the people at church, the people in the store, teachers, leaders, co-workers. It's actually kind of amazing to think about all the people that bless our lives each and every day.

Today's challenge:
1. continue to write down how you are grateful for your family and God (it's been a few days so try not to repeat anything!)
2. write down a list of people that have been a blessing to you
3. write down a specific way that you've been blessed by someone outside your extended family today.
4. find a way to act on your gratitude and think about how it makes you feel.

30 Days of Grateful Living: Day 6

 

Prayer is probably one of the greatest blessings of my life. It is such a big part of my belief in God. I love that I can talk to Him at any time about anything and receive help and guidance. I can't count how many times being able to pray has been a blessing to me. I really believe that every sincere prayer is answered - sometimes the answer is yes, sometimes it's no, and sometimes it's not yet. A lot of that depends on what God knows is best for us. I have received all of those answers over time and over and over again and I've been able to see just how blessed I was that God answered the way He did.

Prayer is also a blessing because all my gratitude ultimately goes back to my gratitude for my Heavenly Father. He is the source of all my blessings. I think I'm not alone in realizing that I could probably do a lot better about showing my appreciation for the gifts He has given me. I believe a big part of that is just remembering to thank Him in prayer.

Today's challenge:
1. continue to write down how you are grateful for your family and God (it's been a few days so try not to repeat anything!)
2. say a special prayer of thanks to God - try not to ask for anything but just offer thanks for the things you have.
3. write down how you have been blessed by prayer.
4. find a way to act on your gratitude and think about how it makes you feel.

30 Days of Grateful Living: Day 5

Like everyone else I've had trials come and go throughout my life. Times where the world seemed cold and dark and I just didn't know what to do. The most memorable of these for me was May of 2011. Within one month EC's father died, my mother died, we had a horrible stomach bug go through all of us (while we were traveling to be there for my mom's last days), and I found out that I was going to be having a baby again only to find out a little while later at our first ultrasound that there was no heartbeat and I would be miscarrying. I won't get into all the details of everything that we went through but it was hard. There were blessings in all of that as well though. We grew closer together as a family, we were blessed extremely by our friends, and God made it clear that He was still in charge and loved us. We learned that with God we were stronger than all of those trials.

So anyways, I couldn't talk about gratitude without expressing my gratitude for trials. It doesn't mean I have to like them or seek them or be happy about them but I can appreciate and give thanks for opportunities to strengthen myself, my faith, and my relationships.

Today's challenge:
1. Continue recording how you are grateful for the members of your family and for God.
2. Write down a trial you faced and how it has blessed you.
3. Find a way to act on your gratitude.

*as I went to post this on my FB page I found this clip and knew I had to include it!

30 Days of Grateful Living: Day 4

Welcome to Day 4 of our Grateful Living Challenge!

Yesterday's challenge ended up being just the right thing for me for the day. Throughout the day I'd been trying to be more proactive in choosing how to use my time but it was still a struggle because it felt like so much of what was going on was being decided for me by circumstance or necessity so most of the day was just trying to get done what had to get done. Thankfully EC must have seen the crazy lady look in my eyes when he came home and after dinner he took Monkey and Tiger out with him to go get some errands done so I had 3 hours with just Bear. Instead of just letting the time just pass I had to decide what I was going to do with those 3 hours that I was being blessed with to make the most of them

So for Day 4's Challenge I wanted to think about being grateful for our homes. When I was about 12 my grandmother's Christmas present was taking us on a cruise where we visited different parts of Central and South America. My own family had always struggled financially and too often I had a negative opinion of our home compared to the ones my friends and the other kids at school had. While visiting those other places I got to see first hand just how blessed my family was. I saw too many places where the majority of homes were shantys and shacks.

Those lessons can be easily enough forgotten though. It's just too easy to compare our homes to those around us and wish that they were bigger, cleaner, more organized, in a better location, and the list could go on and on. Even in the United States the number of people that experience homelessness are devastatingly sad.  (Although I have to qualify that with saying that in my opinion even one person that has to experience this is one too many - here are some actual statistics.) So today instead of grumbling about the things that still have to be done or lamenting that we aren't pottery-barn perfect let's just appreciate what we have and work to take care of what we've been blessed with.

Today's Challenges:
1. Continue recording things that are family members and God have done for us.
2. Write down what are are thankful for in regards to our homes.
3. Find a way to act on our gratitude.

30 Days of Grateful Living: Day 3

Yesterday was really hard actually. I don't know what happened but it was just one of those days where I just couldn't pull it together. Still after taking some time to think it over I was able to end the day with gratitude and that really helped.

As I woke up this morning the sun was shining and the birds chirping and I feel I've been given a blessing of time.  I have been given a gift of a whole new day where nothing's gone wrong yet and I can make of it whatever I want.

Today's Challenge:
1. Continue writing down the things Heavenly Father and the members of your family have done that you are thankful for.
2. Write down a blessing that has come to you today simply because it's a new day.
3. Find a way to act on your gratitude.

30 Days of Grateful Living: Day 2

So I hope you joined me in taking a few minutes yesterday to think about the things that our family members and God have blessed us during the day. Even though I'm thankful for my family and my Heavenly Father actually thinking about specific ways that they had blessed me during the day filled my heart and helped me love them even more.

Today's challenge is:
1. Keep writing all those and finding new ways that they show it today.
2. Write down some way that you are thankful for your body/health.
3. Find a way to act on your gratitude.

My sister is my inspiration for today's challenge. A few years ago she was severely injured in a work accident and she came close to losing both her legs. She walks today but with a lot of pain and assistance. It's been years for her of quiet agony not only for the physical pain but because there are so many things that she just can't do anymore - although stubborn as she is she keeps trying to find ways to do them anyways! :-)

At one point when it looked like she was going to have to lose her legs she wrote something that I've never forgotten - I won't even try to put it as elegantly as she did but the idea was that she was just thankful for all that she had been able to do over the years because of her legs and how much a part of some of her most special memories they were and even though she might not have those opportunities again she was thankful for the health in the rest of her body that still allowed her to live and love each day. It really made me rethink all my whining and complaints about my body.

Thinking about gratitude is good but I think we need to also act on it to see how it can really bless us. So hug your loved ones extra tight or go for a run or do whatever it is that speaks gratitude to you.

30 Days of Grateful Living: Day 1

This past Sunday my thoughts at church were drawn to the need for greater gratitude in my life. As I pondered it I realized that the simple act of trying to be more grateful would help or even solve many of the problems that I've been struggling with. So because I need some accountability I'm sharing my goal to live more gratefully. Although I want it to keep going for much longer than the 30 days, I figured a month is certainly something I can do and if I can do it, that means pretty much anyone can do it.

If you want to start with me all you'll need is a journal and something to write with. Don't worry about it being any particular size or shape or if it's plain or fancy, grab what you have and keep it simple!

Every day over the next month I'm going to write down in my journal the things I'm thankful for. It's as simple as that to begin with. For Day 1 I'm going to start with the most important things to me.

• Today I am thankful for EC because:
• Today I am thankful for Monkey because:
• Today I am thankful for Tiger because:
• Today I am thankful for Bear because:
• Today I am thankful for Heavenly Father because:

I'm starting with those and will include each of them every day because my family and my Heavenly Father are the most important things in my life and as I look at how thankful I am for them I know I will see how much I am blessed and loved and my relationships with them will improve.