Coming to Christ As We Are

Some random musings for a rainy/snowy Friday:

Have you ever had someone say something that just made a lot of sense and seems like something you’ve known forever but just never really thought about that way? I’ve had two of those this past week that are kind of connected and it got me thinking so I figured I would write it out before I forget and share with hopes that maybe it would help someone else too.

The first thing I heard someone say was that we shouldn’t wait until we’re perfect to come to Christ but that we come to Christ as we are and He helps perfect us. I think I’ve done a lot of this – thinking that I have to figure something out or be good enough before I can have His blessings. It’s just not true. He loves us as we are right now. Yes, sins will keep us from being able to receive certain blessings but we overcome those sins as we bring them to Him – not on our own. That’s what the Atonement is all about.

The second thought that I heard was just a mental image of our relationship to God that I thought illustrated the first thought beautifully. We’ve all either been or known little children who wake up in the middle of the night and need their parents. Sometimes it’s for a bad dream, sometimes it’s just because, but those little children don’t hesitate to call out or seek out their source of comfort and safety – that place where love makes it all ok again. They don’t worry about if they’ve been good or kind enough that day or if it’ll bother their parents. They just react on an instinctual need to feel that love and comfort. Christ calls us His children. He and Heavenly Father love us more than we can understand, even more than the sublime love of parents who after all is said and done are only human and have to deal with things like sleep deprivation! We shouldn’t hesitate to turn to them when we need that love and comfort or encouragement – they’re going to be there for us with open arms to provide whatever safety and refuge and renewal we need no matter what else may have happened that day. It doesn’t mean that it won’t take time or effort to calm ourselves and find that solace we seek but we don’t give up seeking it.  

3 Nephi 9:14 “Yea, verily I say unto you, if ye will come unto me ye shall have eternal life. Behold, mine arm of mercy is extended towards you, and whosoever will come, him will I receive; and blessed are those who come unto me.”

Matthew 11:28 “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”

Mark 3:23 (JST) “And blasphemies, wherewith soever they shall blaspheme, shall be forgiven them that come unto me, and do the works which they see me do.”

Moroni 7:34 “And he hath said: Repent all ye ends of the earth, and come unto me, and be baptized in my name, and have faith in me, that ye may be saved.”

Ether 4:14 “Come unto me, O ye house of Israel, and it shall be made manifest unto you how great things the Father hath laid up for you, from the foundation of the world; and it hath not come unto you, because of unbelief.”

Mark 1:17 “And Jesus said unto them, Come ye after me, and I will make you to become fishers of men.”

God continually is calling us to Him. He knows that we will only find the comfort and peace and love and encouragement we need to grow and improve and overcome our sins as we are humble enough to answer the call and allow His Spirit to work within us.

Ready and Able to Serve: Filling up Our Treasure Chests

The other day I was helping someone. An extremely sweet sister that I hadn't met before who had suddenly found herself in a hard place and time and needed help desperately and on short notice.

It's not the first time I've gotten those calls. Sometimes I haven't even gotten an actual call but had a prompting or passing request- either way as the “calls” come they have resulted in a variety of different things. I've brought meals, watched children, driven people to places, helped people move, picked up groceries, took care of animals, and just sat and chatted.

I've always loved the opportunity to serve others. I've never once regretted going and doing (although I have unfortunately regretted plenty of times when I've missed that opportunity for one reason or another). I've often found that I was blessed even more than the person I was trying to help. I love getting to know people better, lifting someone's day, and for my tiny part knowing that the world is brighter because I did something to help.

I hope that doesn't sound conceited or trite because I wasn't the only one who answered the call in this case and it was amazing to see how each of us were able to be there and what we were able to bring in the way of help and how each of us were needed. In the midst of my pure exhaustion that followed I had a thought - What if I hadn't been able to serve? What if I was too busy with other things? What if I didn't have the physical/emotional/mental/spiritual/temporal resources available that she needed? Would she have suffered because I wasn't able to serve? What would I have missed?

I almost broke down in tears of gratitude to my Savior. I thought of all the times I wanted to help but didn't or couldn't and I was so thankful that at least this once I had been prepared to be able to help. I'm not sure I could have done what I did even just a few months ago and the thought was painful to me. Maybe someone else could have been there and everything would have been fine without me, it probably would have. Maybe they could have helped better than I did. But maybe not. Maybe I was the only one who could have done what I did and that small bit for whatever it was worth would have been left undone.

The Lord has blessed me with a treasure chest. It's my job to take care of it and fill it up with the things I need though. If I want to be able to help I have to have the knowledge and strength and resources to be there. I have to be busy filling up my treasure chest so that when others need something I am ready and able to share. It's just logic that you can't give what you don't have.

Now I don't think that God expects us to have everything right today that someone may ever possibly need from us or that we alone have to save the world. He gives each of us different gifts and different needs and what I'm expected to be able to give now will be different than what I might be expected to give 30 years from now. But God knows what we're capable of doing and I think that He wants each of us to be doing our very best. I don't want to have to get to the eternities and realize that I missed opportunities to serve and love and bless because I was too busy or lazy and hadn't prepared myself or didn't even realize that there was a need. The prophets have taught to get out of debt, provide for the future, take care of our homes and families, to take scripture into our hearts, to learn all that we can, and stay close to the Spirit. I think those are all things that I can work on bit by bit each day to help fill my treasure chest so I won't have to come up empty handed and can be satisfied that I truly did give all I could.

I am just so thankful that I was here, I was ready to answer the call and I was able to serve because of what I've been blessed with largely because of promptings that have come through the Holy Ghost. That means so much to me. I still have a lot that I can be doing to fill my treasure chest up but the other day I truly felt like I could not have been more blessed.

My Two Cents: Overcoming the Tragedy of Hate

A few thoughts have been running through my mind since I found out about the murders in Orlando this past weekend. Although every time situations like this happen my heart twists in agony for the suffering of those involved, this one hit close to home since I grew up just outside Orlando and many of my friends still call it home. I was so thankful that Facebook has a new “check” where people in the area can let their friends know that they’re safe. I’m saddened beyond words that such a feature is needed but such is the world we live in.

Social media also has been great at proving just about everybody’s got an opinion on it. The right to free speech is letting them share and share they are. I’ve seen quite the range of comments and opinions and information about a variety of mostly related topics. Even though it’ll likely get lost in cyberland for the sake of my own peace of mind I’m adding my two cents for whatever they might be worth.

My first thought is that I think unfortunately we’ve gotten really good at trying to treat symptoms instead of actual problems. I may be wrong but I don’t think this is about guns and I don’t think it’s even really about the LBGT Community or Muslims or any of that. Those things all play into it sure, but there are plenty of Muslims that wouldn’t condone the actions taken, there are people that are part of the LBGT community that own guns and fully support freedom of religion, unfortunately there are Muslims that have attacked other groups of people using other kind of weapons, and even more to the point- there are many other people that have committed other atrocities that aren’t related to any of these things. What it all comes down to really is hate.

We’ve gotten more intellectual about our hate and we hide it well but it’s still there. We may not go to the extremes that that were involved in this instance but we still have it lurking beneath the surface. We hate the people that would do this sort of thing. We hate the people who have allowed this to happen. We hate the laws that didn’t stop it. We hate the way the reports have covered it. We hate that we can’t do anything about it. We hate that the world is in chaos. We hate that everyone’s prayers for the people involved haven’t changed what’s happened. We hate a lot.

I want it over with. Please don’t misunderstand me, I don’t condone the actions that were taken or want to in any way seem like I want to justify the choices that someone makes to harm anyone in any way. I just don’t want to live with the hating and blaming any more. That may seem overly naive but I’ve lived through the terror of tragedy that struck too close to home. I’ve been within feet of a classmate that decided to act on their hate and took the life of someone and changed his own forever. I know from experience that we can hate things and people all we want but it only perpetuates the cycle. It just makes us more bitter, more divided, and more afraid at times when what’s needed is more compassion, more unity, and more courage.

I really believe that unless we can remove the hatred these tragic events are not going to stop. Why would they? We can talk about gun control all we want but people with a desire to harm are still going to find a way to do it. We can legislate and debate back and forth with PC hogwash keeping us from admitting the basic fact that we’re all human. When we start putting labels on ourselves and others it keeps us distanced from them and throw in a dose of hate and it becomes us versus them. I have many friends in the LBGT community – do I love them because they’re part of that community? To me that would be ridiculous and shallow, I love them because they’re my friends and I treat them like I do all my other friends. Same goes for any other labeled group. It doesn’t mean I don’t acknowledge that people are different and face different challenges based on certain things. It just means that I know deep down that everyone has a story and a struggle and is worthy of compassion and understanding and space to work out their own crazy life in their own crazy way. I have enough problems of my own, why would I assume I can “fix” everyone else’s?!

I know I don’t have all the answers to what to do. I do know that Christ taught us to pray and that we should love our enemies. Sometimes that’s hard, Christ knew about that too though and He never put any conditional clarifiers on it which to me makes me think He probably meant it just the way He said it. So I’ll keep praying for those who have lost loved ones that somehow they’ll be able to find some measure of peace. I’ll also keep praying for those whose hearts are becoming lost to their hate.  I’ll pray for those of the rising generation that are growing up in fear of an unknown future. I’ll pray for love to come to all of us and fill us up where hate and fear have emptied and hardened us. Then I’ll keep trying to follow Christ’s example in taking those prayers and putting them into action. I’ll try harder to love deeper, I’ll try to look for the best in others so that they can see it in themselves, and I’ll trust in Him to help me know who might need an extra hug or helping hand. Though so far I'm incredibly imperfect at it and it hasn’t changed much, it has started to change me. Maybe with some time I won’t be so quick to judge. Maybe I won’t be so quick to take offense. Maybe I won’t be so caught up in my own story that I miss pages of beauty that could have been added by those around me. Maybe I’ll appreciate more the unique gift that each and every one of us are to the world and the greater story of history. Call me crazy but it doesn’t sound like much room left for any hate if I can manage all of that. Maybe I can’t change the world but I can change me. It may sound altruistic or downright corny but maybe when all is said and done that’s really all that matters – how much we’ve filled our hearts with love and how much we’ve shown that love to those around us.  

Family Forever

Once upon a time I was a stupid teenager. I had some things happen that I let damage my self-esteem pretty bad and ended up with a crowd of friends who although not ill-intentioned, simply did not have my same standards. Although I never committed any "serious" sins there was a short time when I was not worthy to enter the temple.

That may seem a bit strange or harsh to people not of our faith but we believe that the temples are the most sacred and holy places on earth - we believe that they are the House of God and the scriptures say "that all men, everywhere, must repent, or they can in nowise inherit the kingdom of God, for no unclean thing can dwell there, or dwell in his presence" (Moses 6:57). If we want to be in God's House, if we hope to dwell in His Presence we must be clean and worthy.

So there I was, unable to enter the House of the Lord. All my life I grew up knowing how special temples were and it was devastating to me not to be able worthy to participate in those sacred experiences. My top priority became repentance and taking hold of the blessings of the Atonement so that I could return. I remember a special blend of feeling joyful and humble when I was able at last to enter in again that I now feel each time I enter. 

It was soon after this time that I found my favorite Primary song - I had always loved music and especially the church songs but this one took on special meaning to me.

I have a family here on earth.

They are so good to me.

I want to share my life with them through all eternity.

 Families can be together forever

Through Heavenly Father's plan.

I always want to be with my own family,

And the Lord has shown me how I can.

The Lord has shown me how I can.

 While I am in my early years,

I'll prepare most carefully,

So I can marry in God's temple for eternity.

 Families can be together forever

Through Heavenly Father's plan.

I always want to be with my own family,

And the Lord has shown me how I can.

The Lord has shown me how I can.

 

If there was a blessing in all that I went through, it was that I appreciated temples and eternal families like I had never done before. I knew with certainty that I could never settle for anything that wasn't forever. I wanted my family to be eternal and that I would have to continue to make sure that I was worthy and focused if that was going to happen.

Fast forward a bit and I knelt across the alter from my very best friend and made sacred promises with him and the Lord that no matter what came our way we would stay focused on eternity together. When I look at my husband, my children, when I think of my parents, grandparents, and great-grandparents - I feel an indescribable joy and overwhelming gratitude for how very blessed I am. I am so grateful that the priesthood was restored and that temples are once again on the earth and that we can be sealed together as a family forever.

 

In our ward during April we focused a lot on temples and families. We made a ward goal for everyone to try and get their families to go to the temple together - at least to walk around the grounds and feel the Spirit there. We were able to go as a family to both Boston and Montreal and see the temples there. 

 

No my kids weren't the most reverent while we there, yes it was a difficult thing to get everyone together and do the long drive. Would I do it again? Of course! Even though it was challenging and I imagine it will remain so no matter what the future brings, having our family together at the temple, teaching our children that they are part of our family forever, showing them how much we love them and God loves them are some of the most treasured moments of my life. 

 

I hope that by helping them focus on the things of eternity so they will be able to remember who they are and where they are going and know without a doubt that they are children of a Heavenly Father who loves them, and wants to keep the commandments and be clean not only so that they can be happy in this life but so He can bring them home to live with Him again to live in his eternal joy with all our loved ones together forever. 

my greatest blessings

Being Mindful of the Moment

In trying to think about what I wanted to say today I knew I wanted to talk about motherhood. Should I tell you a little more about my kids? How thankful I am to have them in my life? How I still feel every day like I worry that I’m going to mess them up? My guess is that if you’re a parent you already know those feelings pretty well. If you’re not a parent yet well, you’ve got a lot to look forward to someday.

No, as I start today I’m thinking about the daily rat race of life as a parent. If you’re a parent it is so easy to get caught up in the daily tasks of life: everyone wakes up, everyone gets ready for the day, everyone goes to work and school, everyone comes home, everyone gets ready for bed, and hopefully everyone gets to sleep. If you’re lucky everyone’s managed some semblance of three fairly balanced meals.

Is that what parenting is supposed to be like? Is that how our families are supposed to experience life? I’m horrible about getting caught up in the rat race. My “to do” list is insanely long and impossible. I never seem to get to half of it. I’m always worrying about jamming everything in. Thankfully kids aren’t like that. Over time they learn to grudgingly conform but their natural tendencies are to take life minute by minute and if you let them, they’ll teach you a lot about what’s really important.

Getting to know Monkey at 11 has been so much fun. She’s really starting to get into the deeper stuff of life and she’s handling it so much better than I did at her age. She’s always studying people and coming up with plans for how she can help others. She’s a lot like me in wanting to really understand why people are the way they are and why we make the choices we make and respond the way we do to different things. She makes me remember to look at the big picture and look for ways to show more love.

Tiger at 8 has been amazing. He has grown so much this past year. He loves to dream big and appreciate the small. One minute he’s talking about his dream of becoming an astronaut and finding a new Earth and the next he’s making friends with a caterpillar. He just loves to be happy and to make others happy and is always thinking of the most interesting things to be thankful for – like trees that clean the air and the stars so night isn’t so dark. He makes me remember that anything is possible if you can only stop and enjoy the moment and notice all the little gifts and joys around you.

Bear at 2 ½ is a blessing and a joy. He just loves his family and he’s usually happy doing anything as long as it’s with someone he loves. Of course he has his favorites like trains (we’ve been building A LOT of trains lately to help him pass the time with the other kids at school). He’s also happy to help me do the laundry or dishes. He always greets his family and friends with a big smile, a hug, kisses, and often a few silly faces. He makes me remember that happiness comes from love, not from the toy store.

If we are willing to listen children can teach us so much about the really important things of life. They teach us that dreams and joy and love aren’t found in the rat race – they’re found in the moment. Only as we pause and are mindful of the moment can we really feel and understand the greater things of life. When we take the time to just love and enjoy being with our children they will inevitably find a way to turn it back to us in even greater amounts.