“So what do you do?”
“I’m just a Stay-At-Home-Mom. I spend all day
taking care of the kids and house.”
“Oh, you mean you’re a domestic engineer!”
This brief part of a conversation with someone was a
major boost for me. I didn’t particularly like the idea of identifying myself
as a SAHM. I felt like there was so much more to it than that. I’ve seen my
share of viral posts trying to define and support all of the different roles
that women who choose to put off outside employment are involved in and only a
small part of it is just staying at home.
I struggled often with my feelings of in-adequacy in
my roles as wife, mother, and especially as homemaker. I knew I had so much
room for improvement and it didn’t help that when people asked me what I could
do I could either say I was a SAHM and feel like I was conjuring images of a
couch potato mooch who sat around all day watching television and ordering in
pizza while complaining about everything or try and list out all the different things
that I did every day and feel like I was trying to prove myself and my worth.
Looking at myself as a domestic engineer helped me
rethink my role. If I began to look at myself as an engineer of all our family’s
domestic needs I could see that I had a skill set that was needed and could be
improved upon even if I wasn’t already a master. The burned French toast and
make-a-mix casseroles were only my first steps. If I had a problem with
cleaning or organizing it wasn’t the end of the world, it was an opportunity
for learning.
So I’m a domestic engineer. Every day my job is to
look after the things that make our home comfortable and happy and take care of
my family. It's an important job with lots of room for improvement and
growth and joy. I may still feel like a novice somedays but that’s ok. I can’t think of
anything that I would rather be.
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