Women in Christ: Loving our Spouse

Continuing on with the Women in Christ discussions I thought this week it would be appropriate to talk a little about strengthening our love for our spouses.

Genesis 2:18,21-24 says “And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him…And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”

It was clear from the very beginning of time that men and women were created to compliment, strengthen, and help one another. It’s an absolutely perfect design meant to give us joy and happiness. In a day when so many relationships are failing and falling apart it feels like the impossible dream. If we are to be daughters of God, and women in Christ it becomes the responsibility of each of us to hold fast to that dream and honor the sacred covenants that we made when we chose to be married even when the journey gets tough.

I’ll be the first to admit that I’m still a relative newbie on the marriage journey – in just a few months we’ll be celebrating number 12.  I’ll also admit that I had a lot to learn when I got married about what really makes a happily ever after.

What I have learned so far is this – the relationship between husband and wife is truly one of the greatest blessings from God and will bring us joy beyond what we can dream of. I’ve also learned that it’s something we have to work at each and every day if we want to keep it sacred and protected and find the joy that God wants for us. We have to continually and consistently choose our marriage above everything else aside from God. That means choosing to put your spouse first in your life, above the kids, above work, above even yourself.

But wait! Didn’t we just talk last week about loving ourselves before we can love others? Absolutely, but when we take time for ourselves it shouldn’t just be about us, it should be because taking that time for ourselves helps us give the best that we have to those we love. When it becomes just about us then we are being selfish and being selfish is the quickest way I can think of to make a marriage fail.

This is where I get so upset with some of the fairy tales and so many of the modern romances. So many times true love is depicted as quick and easy where everyone gets everything that they want and therefore has a happily ever after. That is not true love. Not quite at least.

It sounds corny but I knew that I had met the man that I wanted to spend the rest of mortality and eternity with not because he doted on my every need, not because he brought along a fairy godmother to wave her wand and make all my dreams come true, but because he inspired me to be my very best.

Like I said, kind of corny huh. It’s true though, and because it’s true I struggle with it each and every day. Day after day I try to challenge myself to give him my best and become better than the day before simply because I love him and because I love him I feel he deserves all that I can give. He’s never asked that from me, he doesn’t criticize me when I don’t meet that goal (which is all too often). He just keeps loving me and because his love is so unconditional it lifts me and inspires me to keep raising the bar and when I fail to try again. His love does so much more to strengthen me and help me seek to improve and become better and make the relationship better then any critiques or criticisms ever could.

So how does your spouse inspire you to be better? If you’ve been struggling with this one take a step back and look, really look at the ways that your spouse says I love you. Because everyone is different (and especially men and women) it may not be how you would expect it.